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| So it's been nine months since I've written in this thing.
A lot's happened. A lot. Here's a recap:
- Got my first kiss...
- Got my first girlfriend.
- Fell in love.
- Fell OUT OF IT.
- Watched friends change.
- Watched friends change back.
- Learned that I'm not as high and mighty as I used to think I was.
- Moved into a new house!
- Went to Boston.
- Came back from Boston.
Meh, bored of that.
I've been at Joey's house a lot lately... I miss that kid, man. I
remember how dumb we used to be. Used to say shit like "pudding" and
the kid would bust out laughing... simpler times, simpler times.
Hopefully we'll catch up.
Me and Rob, as usual, have been up to our typical crazy shenanigans.
Oh, here's a new bit:
I suck with chicks now, heh. Dunno what to say. Dunno when to say it.
Dunno when to blame their actions on their being a bitch or just a
short wave of PMS, or both. Dunno when to move in for the kill, dunno
when to sit that night out. I'm not gonna say women suck, but I will
say that I'm less inclined to get along with them.
I kind of gave up on that whole idea of "I'm in a relationship, hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray let me roll with that."
Relationships are hard, people. Lots of give and take, and if you ain't
ready to give, you sure as hell aren't taking much... I'm doing things
as they go along, I'm seeing people, I'm keeping my options open,
because it seems like the best opportunities always come when they're
closed... I want fun, now. Lots of fun.
FUNFUNFUNFUNFUNFUNFUNFUNFUNFUNFUNFUNFUNFUN, gimme some.
11:57... Monica's air-conditioner broke, so she insists that she has to
sleep on the other side of my bed. . . Gotta go.
Readers, take it easy.
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| My mother doesn't understand that I don't want to go to college in
Brazil. She insists that it's "Just as good as the US, except it's
free." It's not my fault she hasn't saved any money for my future. I
guess she expects me to be a dead beat, like the rest of my pathetic,
typical Brazilian family. Well, fuck that.
Uhm, my future's on the line, and she wants to be cheap. Shows how much some people care.
Well, I'm not fucking going to college in Brazil. I'm going to college
here. And I don't care if I have to work twenty-three hours a day, I'm
going to medical school here, too.
So fuck off.
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| She said yes, she said yes, yes she said, that's what she said, yes,
yes, yes, yes, yes, she said, that's what, she said, comma, said she
yes.
No matter how you say it, it's a fact.
Kathleen Tower is my girlfriend. 
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| Okay, new goal.
*Develop a new sleep schedule, so that I'm comfortable going to sleep at around 9:00-10:00PM before school begins.*
That's gonna be a tad bit difficult, but... I think I'll manage.
- Dan
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|  So... yeah, things've got me down.
Every day of this summer seems to be... so... well,
lonely. I miss my friends, I miss the laughs, the jokes, the carefree
atmosphere. I mean, I still like... see my friends, but I don't really
have friends that ask me to do stuff often. (And yes, Rob, I'm aware
that you're an exception.) Maybe I should start making plans with
people, but it's like the thought just never seems to hit my
mind. I sort of just tag along with friends, at the last minute
to do things.
I'm going in to High School. I should be able to
have a good time, by now. I should be able to toss care to the winds,
and do things that kids do. But... I'm weighed down by things that our
world encourages. Responsibility, conscience, morality. It seems like I
suffer for having those three things on my side, these
days. A certain friend invited me to a *ahem* "barbecue" where there'd
be a few alcoholic beverages, but I simply said, "No, I'm not going,
because I'm not going to drink."
My life is getting more routine, as the years
pass... nothing different, no change of scenery, no sense of adventure,
inspiration, or anything of the sort. My parents seem perfectly content
with their lives, but I'm a kid, and a kid is supposed to roam the
world around him. Explore it. It seems like I rarely leave Union, these
days. I don't have a beach house, an R.V., or anything like that... I
have boundaries, and I hate them. Man, if I had the chance to go to
Europe for a month, or something, I'd take it quicker than
<i>anything</i>.
I can be compared to something like... an eagle kept
in a box. I'm capable of a lot more, but it seems like I just can't
find my way out of things.
I never really tell people this, but I hate it how
other folks kinda just... assume that I look down upon them, for making
their own choices. Here are a few of the things I decided for myself,
that friends sort of look at me oddly for:
- I don't plan on smoking.
- I don't plan on drinking. (Before I'm twenty-one, and depending on how I decide, possibly afterward as well.)
- I've never stolen, and I plan never to do it.
- I don't plan on gambling.
- ... Possibly pursuing abstinence, I don't know.
I'm a fucking D.A.R.E. Poster-child, but that's who I am, and unfortunately, Mainstream America doesn't seem to agree with that.
Listen, everyone, if you plan on doing anything I don't do, just don't
invite me to do things. If you plan on talking about those
things, YOU CAN. I'm never going to look down on you, or treat
you differently, if you make different choices. I can't tell you how
many times people think I'm some sort of supremacist, just because I
stay quiet when they talk about getting in to fights, or doing drugs,
or drinking alcohol. COUNTLESS times.
If you're not going to be my friend in the future because of
<i>that</i> shit, then don't fucking talk to me anymore,
and save me time.
- Dan
(Oh, and I'm aware that this was a really oddly random and off-topic
entry, but lately, it feels like I'm doing nothing with myself, and my
friends aren't exactly helping.)
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